#1: Crying while sitting at a stoplight is cliche. Very cliche. B-movie cliche. And the people behind you don’t particularly care for it either because they will honk their horn when the light turns green and you just sit there not moving because your head is in your hands and tears are streaming down your cheeks, unaware that traffic and the rest of the world is in fact, still moving around you.
#2: Cheese and crackers at 11pm does not constitute dinner.
#3: The majority of your calories should not come from alcohol. 50% however, is an acceptable amount.
#4: Some famous, likely dead person, once said, “This too shall pass.” Clearly he/she was already past their tramautic, trying event and could look at it from a far rosier, the fucking glass is half-full perspective. If I survive long enough I promise to annoy all of my friends by reminding them, “This too shall pass,” as I smile smuggly and lift my over-filled wine glass to my lips.
